Surgery News

Hi All
Today I had my surgery consultation. The consultation was supposed to be with Laura Esserman who is the head of the Breast Cancer Center at UCSF (or director or something) and with the plastic surgeon (forgot his name). As late as yesterday I was getting phone calls from their assistants making sure I was 'ready' for this appointment (filled out the paperwork and stuff). And then I get this final phone call telling me to come at 5 even though my appointment was at 4 because the doctors are so busy and the wait can be super lengthy so I might as well arrive at 5. Turns out the right hand didn't talk to the left and the plastic surgeon had already left because someone didn't tell his department they told me to come at 5 instead--LORD!
So I only met with Laura who is the breast surgeon but this was OK because I now have a plan and some serious answers. On Monday I have to trek in to the city again to see the plastic surgeon at a different hospital. Don't these people know I live out in the boondocks!
For so long I have known that chemo is like half my battle. Up ahead I knew I had surgery to deal with and that I had to make some serious decisions about the fate of my breasts but I didn't know when-- the day after my chemo was done? Next year?
The psychological impact of losing my breasts is probably bigger than I am letting myself feel at this point and maybe I'll write about it later. For those eager to learn about their fate--here it is: They are goners. As much as I would like to think that because the chemo has been so effective on my tumor in shrinking it I can keep my breasts, I have the BRC1 gene (breast and ovarian cancer gene) that my mom had and woman with this 'mutation' have no business walking around with their natural born breasts if they want to live and woman who have had breast cancer already (that would be me unfortunately) have a serious death wish if they choose to keep them. I have a lot to live for--so bye bye boobies. As for my ovaries--we talked about those too. The plan is to get them removed a little later in my life. Maybe abound 38 or 40 when I am certain I don't want anymore kids. Poor Greg. I think he thought there wasn't even a chance but now that Menopause is maybe only temporary--you never know.....I mean Sadie is pretty cute we would be sort of doing a disservice to the wold NOT having another--ha ha.
I have always know that losing my breasts would be part of this experience--it's not new news but it's always a bit altering to be in a doctor's exam room and hear it from their mouth as opposed to Web MD. I googled breast reconstruction awhile ago and I have to say, got kind of freaked out. Mainly because the photos on the web are a bit Frankensteinian--most are from plastic surgeon websites and are fairly graphic and medical. Nobody was really caring about the lighting if you know what I mean. Earlier I was told by some doctor (but I can't remember who) that because I have Lupus there was no way I could get saline or silicone implants because of the immune response. Instead I would have to a procedure called a 'transflap' something or other--I would look it up but Sadie is starting to cry and I want to post this before Greg loses his patience. For this procedure they take the fat and some muscle from your stomach and redirect it up to your breasts along with the veins and arteries so the tissue doesn't die. So those looking on the brighter side of things think Tummy Tuck! Boob Job! For those of you like me, I think major surgery. Big scar. Long recovery (two months with the transflap). There really wasn't much about it that was good in my opinion. I would MUCH rather by an Ab roller than get an incision from hip to hip in my belly. Yuck. Also, in this procedure I would lose my nipple and all sensation in the overall breast (ladies, they aren't just for filling out shirts you know!?). Even though I knew there was the nipple tattoo option--this really bothered me. Double yuck.
So, a lot of what I thought isn't happening. There is good news and bad. Bad first: I will lose sensation in my breasts as I thought. They have to remove ALL the tissues and this includes the nerves. At one time they tried to save the 'fifth intercostal nerve' that connects up to the nipple, but they weren't successful so they don't do it anymore.
Good news: I get to keep my breast skin (meaning they aren't building new breast mounds out of some other skin) and I get to keep my nipples AND I don't have to have the transflap crazy stomach nightmare procedure--instead I will get implants. I really wish I could remember which doctor told me I couldn't. Regardless, Laura who seems to be the expert doesn't see any reason I should go through the surgical shenanigans of a transflap surgery--thank God. It's as if I am just the average small chested lady looking for a bit more love up in the chest area which is hysterical because for those who are in the 'know' I have boobage to spare and have had it since I hit around 14 years old. The only scar I will have is around the nipple and she says you can barely see it. The one caveat is that I have to get expanders put under my skin and go in a few times to get them filled with water until they are the right size and then they go in and put the permanent implants in. I can't believe I get to 'pick' my size. I can't believe I will never have saggy boobs--this I am kind of happy about--but seriously, I would rather have saggy boobs that feel something than perky ones that don't. Oh well.
So timing--my surgery has been scheduled for May 6--one day before my mom would have been 62 years old.
Monday I meet with the plastic surgeon. I will be sure to tell him to make sure I don't get the Tori Spelling canyon (probably only Amber and Susannah will know what I am talking about). Picture above is in the exam room. I am waiting to get felt up. You can tell by the photo my general opinion of that. And the other photo is Greg in bed with Sadie this morning. I am so glad he is home.
Love,
Rosalie