Update

Hi Everyone,
Even though I have nothing new to report, I have some family members who are loyal readers and that gives me the warm fuzzies, so here's an update on what I have been doing (for some reason I feel like I should only blog when I have something to report??).
First of all, Sadie has come in to her own. She is making all kinds of great cooing and gurgling noises and she started to laugh out loud. It has to be the best sound in the world. I want to bottle the sound and put it up to my ear all the time. All my problems melt away when I hear her laugh. Which means Sadie laughing is great timing because I still am getting the weepies, which usually hits me right around when I am trying to fall asleep, so Greg has to tell me everything is going to be all right over and over even though I have this weird pit in my stomach and my mind is racing with cancer woes and what ifs. My oncologist said maybe postpartum depression is just hitting me now--that chemo could have stopped some production of hormones I normally would have produced directly after giving birth, so in a way, the emotions are 'normal'. This knowledge doesn't make it any better.
In terms of my mastectomy, all is well. Sometimes I do feel like I am wearing a bra made of barb wire, but again, that wonderful Sadie distraction keeps me from dwelling on it. I don't need 24 hour help with her anymore and I can lift and hold her. Holding still hurts a bit, but again, it's not pain, it's a weird dull ache when anything touches my breasts--or what's left of them. Tomorrow I get 150 cc of saline injected into the expanders again. My neighbor Linda is watching the baby and told me and Greg to go see the new Indiana Jones movie after my appointment because she is just great like that. Before we had the baby, actually before we got Frida (first baby), I was a notorious opening night movie goer. Now, we are just movie renters so this is a big deal. Speaking of movie renters, someone at the local video store recommended that show Dexter to Greg when he was there and so we got all hooked and watched the first season in three back to back nights. For those who watch the show, you may agree with me that it just may be the reason I can't sleep at night. That show is creepy.
My hair is continuing its return. And here's the thing. I wasn't going to bring it up, but I might as well. I have never gotten so many compliments on how I look in my life. Seriously. My entire life. I am a post chemo, cancer fighting woman who just had a baby and everyone is telling me I look beautiful. I'm not bragging. I am stating a fact. So this is my theory. It's the hair. Before I had this big Chewbacca mane ...


Photo by my friend Dennis, the night before my first chemo when I was pregnant (duh). Poor Frida, she had no idea that big bump on my belly was going to take away the bulk of her walks and belly rubs. Poor Pup.

Anyway, maybe this wasn't the best look for me which is kind of a hard lump to swallow because it took me a long time to grow it that long and I guess I thought it looked good and I was always telling the lady who cuts my hair (Sloan at Cooper Alley) to just take the least amount off (and this is when I saw her, which was probably like two years ago--I rarely got my hair cut). This doesn't mean I am going to adopt the buzz cut look permanently. I mean, if my cancer had been diagnosed in my early twenties when I was obsessed with Ani Difranco, then maybe I would have been tempted, but I need me some locks to twirl or I'll go crazy with nothing to do with my hands during long meetings at work and watching TV! Here's Ani in the days I was obsessed with her (it was all I listened too).



Even she has grown out her hair...and had a baby girl too...and it looks like she lives in the woods with a gardening problem too.... and owns a blue boppy just like me....hmmm...



In other news I had some family visits recently which I really love.
My cousin Judy brought out lunch and hung out with me and Greg all afternoon. Here she is with little Sadie.



I also got a visit with my Aunt Robin (mom's younger sister), who may or may not be moving back up from LA (crossing fingers she does--and it would be nice if mom's older sister Karen would move from NY, but no pressure). Robin is great because she holds Sadie all day long and drops lots of baby sleeping advice on me. Here's Robin holding a sleeping Sadie (yes, that's Frida's butt in the upper left corner. Frida has not boundaries).



I also got a visit from my Aunt Sara, who also brought lunch to me and Nina and Hannah who were also visiting. We snapped some good photos of the babies. This one is my favorite because Amara looks like she is saying, 'Hey, what's up?', and Sadie looks like she saying, 'Hey, get that camera out of my face already'.



Then my friend Susannah came out and brought me lunch too (noticing a pattern here? Oh yes, being a recovering cancer patient has its small benefits) and didn't gross out too much when I started to peels scabs off my nipples right in front of her, though she did insist I stop. Remember, they cored out my entire breast so blood supply to my outer skin was seriously affected and the tissue on my nipples is dead and regenerating. My God it's taking a long time.

Today I actually ventured out and did some visiting myself, to my little sister Nina's school where she teaches fourth and fifth grade. She's such a teacher. Look at the whistle around her neck!



Hannah was there dropping Amara off after taking care of her all day so we had a little Watson sister reunion at Manor school.
Then Hannah and I were super bad and got burgers and onion rings and fries in Fairfax at M&G Burgers. And right in the middle of enjoying this delicious naughty meal, I check my blackberry and my friend Amber has sent me an email about my diet and how I should try a shake in the morning with bee pollen. Ah the irony. Oh well.
Here's Hannah and Sadie at M&G. So cute.



So then I came home and went on a walk with my neighbor Stacee and her family and our dogs (she has a baby daughter just five days younger than Sadie, little Parker Presley, and I also met another neighbor yesterday, Caroline, who has a baby, Chirese, who is six days older than Sadie--so little Sadie already has a little posse to play with and she doesn't even know it!).
And to finish this total ramble of all rambles, I ended the evening (so far) by watching the whole Obama triumph (which felt very historical) on TV with my politically addicted husband and neighbor Andy and his son Nadove who announced the state percentages over and over whenever they popped up on CNN while Frida and their dog Emma wrestled on the rug and Sadie cooed and drooled on my lap.
And that's a rap.
Love,
Rosalie