Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Give Me My Breasts Already

Hi Everyone,
Okay, the good news is that my last expander appointment was last Wednesday. There was one more on the books, but I cancelled it. Enough is enough. My plastic surgeon will just have to figure out what to do with the excess skin. I refuse to go back to the ampleness that was my pre-mastectomy figure. I should get something good out of this whole cancer thing. If I am going to get new breasts, then they better be a size I can live with. The bad news is that there are no surgical appointments available for the final implant surgery until....OCTOBER!
I was thinking this would be done by the end of August. I am so sick of these hard mismatched lumps stuck to my chest passing themselves off as breasts. I have a bad habit of grabbing everyone and anyone's hand who feigns interest in my situation and making them feel me up because you truly have to feel what's going on there to understand the frustration. It's like they are carved of stone.

Here's how Sadie feels about the latest news.



I must have felt the same way about something back in 1974 while eating what looks like and probably is a piece of tofu.




That, or my daughter and I share the gene that makes you freeze up and refuse to smile in front of a camera. Seriously. Check out this award winning shot.



and here's one where not one second before she was cooing and giggling at Frida, then the camera comes out with that nasty little red light and I capture this...



This one though is my all time favorite because she not only is not smiling, but is mocking me with her little tongue as if to say, 'Yeah, you can hold that little gray box with the flashy light in my face all day long and I still won't give up a grin'.



And yes, that's Susannah and Zoey in the background. Zoey is super chill in her stroller--which is not the norm. Usually she is off and running around the park and Susannah is calling after her to come back and I am thinking, lord, what am in for in a year and a half?
Love,
Rosalie

4 comments:

Petunia Face said...

I love these pics. And all I can say is thank god that little swinging bee is hiding my muffin top in that last photo!

Anonymous said...

Hi dear Rosalie, I just wanted to pop over and say thanks for checking out my blog and leaving a supportive comment. I actually went back to the very beginning of your blog so I could learn a bit about you. You have been through a lot. You also have an absolutely gorgeous baby girl. Did you know that if you would like to write an article on the mothers with cancer blog you would be welcome? Mmmmm what else, just wishing you all the best and I will check in with you from time to time. Thanks again for coming over to my blog. Take good care, Hugs Jen B. xx Also I am putting a link to your blog on my blog, hope that's okay.

Holly said...

Hello,

I started reading your blog after petunia face wrote a post about you that was linked on kirtsy. I just wanted to de-lurk and say that your daughter is absolutely beautiful, and thank you for sharing your story with the blogging world.

love,
Holly

jena strong said...

Rosalie -

Glad to have discovered your blog (by way of Jill at Reconstruct This...). Sadie is SO CUTE.

xo Jena