Frida Love

Those who know me well know that Sadie is not my first child. My first foray in to the maternal was for my dog Frida Love. Yes, named after the artist, which I do love and also because she's Free to Love--get it? Doesn't cost anything. When I got pregnant my biggest worry was how Frida was going to handle the change. It wasn't my health (I have lupus too), it wasn't the fact that I have a pretty demanding career, or that Greg and I bought a house at the top of the market and have a hefty mortgage (stupid summer of 2005) or the change to our relationship--it was how my little dog would handle sharing my love because I just LOVE my dog. I would take calls from Greg at work in the middle of important meetings because I needed to know she had walked and pooped. When my friends would talk about their kids, with no shame whatsoever, I would join in with Frida stories. I would turn down after work invitations because I couldn't stand the idea of Frida being alone longer than she had to be.
The funniest part of all of this is the fact that for the first 32 years of my life I was a cat person. And not just a cat person who was cool with dogs, but a cat person who really didn't like dogs. They jumped up on you. They sniffed in the wrong places. You had to pick up their poop. They were loud, smelly, hairy and from my perspective, kind of stupid. We got Frida because our house has this huge back yard that sort of was begging for a dog. Also, out in Forest Knolls everyone seemed to have a dog and like a lot of couples I guess I thought it would help us prepare for an eventual baby. I didn't know she would be like my baby in all ways! I just fell in love with her. The way she followed me around, rested her chin on my knee while we watched TV, greeted me with the sweetest wagging tail, nested up against us at night and in the morning, crawled her way between us so that we eventually called it 'making a Frida sandwich'. I didn't mind her breath, the poo, the hair and I realized that dumb expression dogs make is only when a stranger is around making them nervous, excited or anxious. Most the the time Frida is like zen dog who looks at me with all knowing brown eyes.
Frida gets me out walking every day. There is not one neighbor I have met without the help of Frida. Most people don't just randomly strike up a conversation with another, but when you both have dogs, the conversation flows and soon you aren't talking breed and walking habits, but about your life and then you have made a friend. I have a lot of neighbors who I now consider family which is really important because Forest Knolls is kind of out there and having people you can call up and walk with or help out during the chemo has been invaluable. I have Frida to thank for all of them.
This is all leading up to this: As if we weren't dealing with enough, on Monday a good friend of mine, Dedi, took Frida on a big hike up to Bolinas Ridge which made me so happy because of course now that we are home, Frida isn't getting the love she used to get and isn't getting the daily hikes we used to take together. So, I was so happy when Dedi offered and happier it was going to be a big hike--makes her nice and tired. Well, something happened on the trail. Frida was spooked by a family taking a rain hike in the hills all wearing hooded jackets (that's our theory) and ran so quickly and so far Dedi couldn't catch up. After an hour of calling her name, she had to let us know the news and it was like one of my worst fears had come true. You can't imagine the pain I was in and the anger at the idea that I had to deal with more. On top of everything else, I was going to lose my dog? It just didn't make sense. Greg gathered some friends and family that night and drove up to the last place she was seen and in the pouring ran called her name for hours until the rangers said we had to give up. The next day again Greg gathered an amazing group of people: my brother-in-law Dan, my friend Dennis, my neighbor David, Greg's boss Frank and searched the area for six hours without finding her. The nights were the worst. I couldn't feel anything. I felt like a robot caring for Sadie. It was horrible. We managed to muster some hope yesterday when Greg found an animal rescue guy up in Oregon and we contracted with him to come down and look for Frida. We also received an incredible amount of support and help through all our friends and our family. Nina went out alone and hiked White's Hill. My neighbor Andy did the same. My other neighbor Alex took a special mountain bike ride up Pine Ridge with his dog Vinny, who Frida loves, in search of her. Dedi worked the system with the rangers and posted flyers everywhere. Poor Dedi. I hated where I was, but I didn't envy what she was feeling either. But she never gave up and I am so grateful for that. Nina forwarded our Frida flyer to a friend who forwarded it to a bunch of her friends and I got calls from people I didn't even know saying they were taking a hike and looking for Frida. I don't know if it's because I have cancer and just had a baby, and frankly I don't care. People are amazing if you just ask for help.
So, whereas before I thought I would be posting a Please Help Find Frida blog, I am so happy to report that we have FOUND HER! Well, we didn't. A couple out on a hike looking for the supposed and reported on snow found her. They said she was in the middle of the road up where the hike she had been on started. I'd like to think this is because my friend Dennis (who is AMAZING in a crisis and a really good cook) took a spray bottle of my pee up to the trail head on the advice of the animal rescue guy from Oregon and spent the morning spraying it around to get Frida to come back to where she started. Now, there aren't many people that would do that, so THANK YOU Dennis. The people who found Frida said people were just driving by her, but they sensed she was lost. They tried to coax her in the car, but she again ran. So they followed her in the car at a slow pace for 2 miles and then let their own dog out who calmed Frida down or kept her interest enough for them to pull up and get her in the car. I was on the way home from a doctor appointment--where by the way I learned that my chemo would probably eradicate my lupus (we have to be grateful for small favors I guess)--with Linda my neighbor (and friend--thank you FRIDA!) when Greg called to tell me he had no news. Just then, the people called on his other phone and so we got the news together. We had our reunion at the Roasters in Fairfax. Then I realized the guy in the couple was Danny Martinez who I went to high school with ( I think he took my friend Amber to a prom?). It's a small world. Frida is covered with tics and a little damp, but still Frida. Two nights in the woods and she has been sleeping ever since we got home. A really deep sleep with a little snore. It's the best sound in the world.
Thank you Frank, Dan, Dennis, Dedi, Harry (the search and rescue dude), Nina, David, Linda, Alex, Andy, and all the strangers who were out up in the hills looking for my first child. I truly didn't think I could get through the next few months without my proverbial best friend, my loyal companion, my little predictable presence (except when a bunch of hooded strangers approach!).
Love
Rosalie